Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
