I'm gonna have a badass scar
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
