I hate your face
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I want to fling myself into the sun
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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