So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
