woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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