Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
