How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
