Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
