You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
