Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
