im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
