ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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