All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
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hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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