everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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