I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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