I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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