walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
