So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
