Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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