I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry about my life...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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