i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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