Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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