It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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