Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
