i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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