some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
