yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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