I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
