wakey wakey hands off snakey
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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