ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
