I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
