The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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