I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
