dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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