just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
