He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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