Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
