you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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