K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize