Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
"it" just moved
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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