Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
