I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
