Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
