if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
