Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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