what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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