My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize