I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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