Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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