I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
