A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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