I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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