I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
