I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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