Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All the doctor said was why
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
