Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
