How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
