Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
