idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
