I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
this will be a night to untag.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
