listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize