she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
