your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
