If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
