you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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