FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
